This month of September brings back old memories that is hard to erase.
I always had 'real' crush on boys that have
1) tall figure
2) thin
3) fair a.k.a chinese looking
4) credits given if he play sports especially basketball
5) seems quiet (but later on, i found out that they ARE talkative in their own small groups)
6) hardly talk to girls
and the most important value is that they are
7) SMART
i find them smexy (smart +sexy) when they scored a lot in study
dont know why but i think these characters suit BAEK SUNG JO in Playful Kiss.
Technically, all my life I have been crushing on 3 dudes:
My first crush (the cutiepie)
A senior during high school. But, the end of the semester, he get into a relationship with another senior I idolize.She's wayyyyy, like 30000000 times much better to be compared with someone like me. I myself dare nOT to compare me with her and it didn't take much time (precisely 3 days) to get over him.
My 3rd crush (the noname)
Another senior during pre-university.
Similar story to the first one.
But, this time around, one of my goodie had a crush on him and I'm not really the type to be fighting for boys my friends like so,
it's just another bye-bye in my diary.
My 2nd crush (the blueberry)
Saving the best for the last.
I like to refer to this crush as 'the hardcore one'.
Being a high school student was hard.
We, the students had to 'sacrifice' ourselves;
Time and energy
to get co-co points for graduation
by giving social contribution to the school
leaving us no choice but to join
clubs and be a committee members.
I was one of them.
Being a junior
doesn't mean that I can escape.
But, giving out newspaper
was one of my favourite 'social contribution'
back in 'tramseram'.
It was a beautiful Wednesday afternoon.
And my turn to give out newspaper
fell on the very same day.
Everything was common.
Just another regular thing in my to-do list
but
as I knocked
on the door
of this particular class
A handsome 'slim' figure
came for the call.
It was something unexplainable
So surreal,
the 'feeling' I was feeling at the moment.
And I just felt like singing
Nine Days' Story of A Girl.
He took the newspaper from my hands and
'bang'
shut the door.
He did thanked me, actually.
This little occurrence
left me tingling and soaring in
my own dreamy world
for the whole week.
I kept asking myself.
who's he??
why didn't I see him before??
what's his name??
he has a girlfriend??????/????/?
I was very curious to know bout this guy
I called
blueberry.
its very common for me to give sweet name to people i like
Normal thing if its me:
1) I gather all information I should know bout him
Yeah, did I mention that I like doctors or doctor - to- be??
2) I befriend those he befriend.
3) I spy on him (his every move)
psycho and what a stalker
up to a state that I learn to let things flowthe way it should be.
that's when I stop stalking him.
Never see him talking to girls before.
NEVER.
just like him more....
but
in my senior years,
a very memorable night,
I saw him talking to one of my bestie
in front of the stairs
after night prep.
and my whole vision seems to be disappearing
my world crumbles down (dramatic)
i can't hear anything
see anything
or smell anything (what a lie)
at the very moment i
just have this thought that
whoa!
he's seeing my bestie
they might even have the "couple" title
ALREADY.
somber
shallow
solemn
and
NO MOOD
i just cant stop thinking bout 'it'.
and
the next day
i asked her;
my bestie
you know him?
yeah, just get to know him lately
we chat sometime in ym!
I can tell by her look that she
had crush on him too
way before their ym-ing...
and as usual
I planned to erase him
but
it's hard
because i've been liking him for so long
it's uneasy
for me
to let the feeling wane
in seconds
i always bump on him near the staircase
a lot
he was getting down
n i wanted to go up.
but then
i refuse to look up
i just dont want to see his face
tho
before 'that' happen
i'd love to watch him from afar
couple of days later
i learned that he had a crush on my other bestie
he proposed
but she
rejected him
salute him more:
he didn't go for looks
instead how he felt about a person
and most importantly:
he felt comfortable with her (they were always together on ym)
Korean entertainment scene has been like Vanilla Ice Cream in my life since TVXQ 'Dangerous Love' Parody 2009 (the age of Matriculation). The sensation started from the moment you laid eyes on it and it just melt in your heart. A complete savor in every thaw; you just can't get enough.
From TVXQ I was then introduced to 2pm, Shinee, Super Junior and SS501. Later on, came another band I just can't resist, CNBLUE, 4 guys who don't dance but play 'real' music, capturing your heart with their seducing guitar strumming in I'm A Loner.
The male played their role well but we must not disregard the female who had their job done impressively in drawing fans all over the world from USA to Japan and of course Malaysia.
Interesting...
When someone started a topic on Korean celebs, its like entering a warzone, when everyone started bashing on 'these celebs'. Everyone has their own stand, everyone has their own idol, and everyone wanted to survive in the 'battlefield' protecting and supporting their respective 'idols'.
From my observation,
the range of the topic will never go further than
She's plastic
This girl did plastic surgery
OMG, shes got nose job done
Double eyelids, I see
Blah, blah, blah
My god!
Human can be scary. They actually see another homo sapien as plastic.
My advice is:
WTF!! Go live a life instead of telling someone YOU'RE PLASTIC.
A major problem about this green-eyed people is that they can't tell apart a FANTASY and REALITY.
Hello! These 'fake' people you're claiming are enjoying success. They're selling out thousand copies of albums and they've got money in their pocket. And you, still using your daddy's penny or the government's fifty pence piece to support your study.
I don't consent with the idea of plastic surgery because I think it's a torture, violation to the human wellbeing and the annihilation of one's true self and identity, and majorly because it is against my religion because it depicts how UNGRATEFUL you are to what God had gifted you, yourself.
I guess a lot of people would agree with
Originality is the BEST quality.
But, it's the choice they chose and telling them plastic can be a mental disturbance; the same thing like telling them to go die. Another burden to the forensics who had to do extra work when the community like the idea to commit suicide which is very common in Korea.
Live your life to the fullest.
P/S
I intentionally wrote this to those who expressed their 'disgust' towards my BELOVED korean fellow.
Refuse to use the word 'idol' because I must admit that they are no idol material.
Been reading some blogs lately and hey! I'm watching you.
I'm not the pious kind of person and in my religion, I didn't fall under the 'role model' category.
If you ever come across the idea of getting some advice regarding Islam, I 'may not' be the person you're searching for or to some of 'the people' who claim to be so 'knowledgeable' and 'erudite' in the understanding of Islam, I AM THE WRONG PERSON.
I may be exposing my 'aurat':
I don't cover my hair with 'tudung'.
I reveal my skin in state that;
I wear sleveless, exposing my hands.
I wear skirts and three-quarters(only to the extend of knee-length), bared my legs
This all has to do with my physical appearance.
Wait, there's more!
I even still have this idea of going to club once before I'm 25.
Never been in one before.
But, all over this 18 years 10 months and 15 days, I hold on a principle in which I believe if I no longer cleave to it, my morality can be questioned.
My principle of no skinship!
Never been helding hands with guys I'm dating.
Always reminding them that I dont do skinship.
Never been kissed before.
Never been hugged by any guys before.
And of course never been slept by any male-being exist on Earth before.
I even made a list of who I had performed skinship with (male only):
1. My family members a.k.a my dad, my bro, my grandpaps, my uncles(only brothers to my mam and pap and husbands to my Maksu, Cik Ani and Cik Nor), and younger cousin brothers.
2. Uncle Sam (regular customer of Mobil and I shake hands with him with respect to senior citizens)
3. Abg Man (my badminton coach back in Matrics and we shake hands because he won the game and he already assumed us all his daughters)
4. Joshua (my coursemate, things happen like so fast and I just realize that I shake hands with him)
5. Firdaus (my coursemate, who always slap my arms and there was not any skin to skin contact but a skin to cloth contact, plus, he's already like a sibling to me).
Besides the list, there's no one else!
For the time being, I'm still clinging to it. But, who am I to predict what will happen in the future, and maybe, my morality 'can be question' in the days to come.
But you!
How can you judge me by what I wear?
Staring at me, giving me that kind of look.
Stop what you're doing because you're no way better.
I saw you with your boyfriend that day holding hands with his arm tight around your waist.
I saw you pecking your bf's cheek in the cinema.
I saw you on the motorbike with your bf and you're hugging him like 'crazy'.
That was far from being decent when on physical view I'm more the devil and you're acting all angel.
I'm a Malay, but some people thought that I'm not one.
Even some of my course mates thought that I was a Chinese before I told them that I wasn't.
Daddy told me that my ancestors were Chinese and they came from Yunnan,China to be precise.
Example of a situation:
There was once when I took a cab to Old Kopitiam and the taxi driver asked me,
xiao jie, ni yu shi naer?
miss, where do you want to go?
At least, that's what I thought he was saying.
dui pu chi, wo pu hui suo zhong wen!
sorry, i don't speak Mandarin!
Haha!
I know, I know. Funny ryte when I can as if speak like one.
Simple. I'm so used to people approaching me in Mandarin and Cantonese that I took the initiative to learn the basic conversation from the Internet. (credits given to the person who created Google)
Fact that I was schooling in a Chinese school in Standard One doesn't really contribute any help in conversing in mandarin.
Some thought I'm a mix.
Probably, because my grandpa from maternal side is a Thai and Chinese ancestors from paternal side.
But, some even mistaken me for a
Vietnam,
Phillipine,
Indonesian and even
Sarawakian.
Should I consider myself multinational or multi-international?
I think and think; maybe it's my eyes.??.
Well, I'll let you do the evaluation yourself.
But, those eyes aren't the same anymore:
A long,long time ago
precisely, two days ago
my eyes were normal
just like
yours,
theirs,
and hers
goo hye sun a.k.a geum jan di
but one morning
thursday morning
i woke up with sore eye the left one technically
sore eyelid
i went to check it in front of the mirror
and i'm not surprise
it was swollen
something must have bitten me last nyte
i suppose
but the swell was not serious(big)
and
only 2 people notice it cky n se
so
i was relieved
that evening i got on the 6.05 train
back to IPOH
yay~
sleep with mama that nyte
BUT,
early next morning,
wua~
this is what happen when you're taking stuffs merely as 'stuffs'
i thought that everything will be okay
n IT will 'shrink' in a while
shrinking takes time longer than expanding, physics 101
but
15 hours and 45 minutes passed by with no chance of settlement..
