the girl I am

See,

I'm not the pious kind of person and in my religion, I didn't fall under the 'role model' category.

If you ever come across the idea of getting some advice regarding Islam, I 'may not' be the person you're searching for or to some of 'the people' who claim to be so 'knowledgeable' and 'erudite' in the understanding of Islam, I AM THE WRONG PERSON.

I may be exposing my 'aurat':

I don't cover my hair with 'tudung'.

I reveal my skin in state that;

   I wear sleveless, exposing my hands.

   I wear skirts and three-quarters(only to the extend of knee-length), bared my legs

This all has to do with my physical appearance.

Wait, there's more!

I even still have this idea of going to club once before I'm 25.

Never been in one before.

But, all over this 18 years 10 months and 15 days, I hold on a principle in which I believe if I no longer cleave to it, my morality can be questioned.

My principle of no skinship!

Never been helding hands with guys I'm dating.

Always reminding them that I dont do skinship.

Never been kissed before.

Never been hugged by any guys before.

And of course never been slept by any male-being exist on Earth  before.

I even made a list of who I had performed skinship with (male only):

1. My family members a.k.a  my dad, my bro, my grandpaps, my uncles(only brothers to my mam and pap  and husbands to my Maksu, Cik Ani and Cik Nor), and younger cousin brothers.

2. Uncle Sam (regular customer of Mobil and I shake hands with him with respect to senior citizens)

3. Abg Man (my badminton coach back in Matrics and we shake hands because he won the game and he already assumed us all his daughters)

4. Joshua (my coursemate, things happen like so fast and I just realize that I shake hands with him)

5. Firdaus (my coursemate, who always slap my arms and there was not any skin to skin contact but a skin to cloth contact, plus, he's already like a sibling to me).

Besides the list, there's no one else!

For the time being, I'm still clinging to it. But, who am I to predict what will happen in the future, and maybe, my morality 'can be question' in the days to come.

But you!

How can you judge me by what I wear?

Staring at me, giving me that kind of look.

Stop what you're doing because you're no way better.

I saw you with your boyfriend that day holding hands with his arm tight around your waist.

I saw you pecking your bf's cheek in the cinema.

I saw you on the motorbike with your bf and you're hugging him like 'crazy'.

That was far from being decent when on physical view I'm more the devil and you're acting all angel.

I repeat!

U have -1% right to judge me and

I believe that only Allah has that kind of right.

Thank you.