the angel who sells fishes

It's every child's dream to be an angel in this world.

To be good to their parents, to pay their every kindness.
To help the poor and the needy.
To be a doctor to cure those in disease.

And I wanna be f*king rich so that I can supply even the poorest family all over Malaysia with a computer (back then lappy doesnt exist yet).

But the childhood dreams will all be left as a cluster of dust in an empty room.
No!
Your heart is like a dusty glass by the time you grow old.
All you care about is none other than your ownself.
And the major obstacles from the dreams of being angel is SELFISHNESS.

Well,your parents are still alive to see you make your own money, but instead of sharing your new double storey house (alarh,double storey je pun!blom bungalow lagi) with your paps and mams, you dump them in the old folks' home!

You saw tons of families who don't even have a single bread to eat while you're eating Gardenia in front of the t.v but instead you are selfish to share even 1 cent of your money because you're saving it for the latest autumn shoes from Aldo!

You knew the accident rate is skyrocketting each day, yet you're too selfish to donate your blood eventhough you know that someone out there might die just because you don't wanna give off your RBC. When you're successfully a doctor or nurse, you charge the people a lot and if you work with the government, your head will be up in the sky, you talk rudely and look at them as if they were scumbags.

Me, the one who once said,

Mama!Besar nanti I will have a lot of money and I will give some of them to the other kids in Africa. I will go to every house and give them some money so they can start their own business, then they will be rich like me.

I still remember but I dont believe my spirit of sharing stays the same way. I'm now greedier and yes, I sell more fish with every inch of growth my body experience.

A lesson on this matter is that you shouldn't put too much excitement in every dreams especially the good,good one because satan or the devil is always there to manipulate your thoughts. It is enough that you believe that you will do what you dreamt of doing and with the belief you had conquering your mind, you slowly proceed to the beginning step before you reach your ultimate dream and with total patience.

I'm no angel myself, but I guess I have started on the first step already.

Last week, a close aunt of mine had a miscarriage, the daughter she longed for a very long time (she only had 2 boys).So, I accompanied her in the hospital and it is an invaluable experience I have to say. Taking care of someone who lost half of the blood in the body;having not much energy, and she's not allowed to eat (required to fast), it was late at night; accompanying the sick person alone, in a hospital where you just can't shooed away thoughts like "what will come knocking on the door", plus,there's just two of us in the room, and hours before Pantai Putri had a blackout, that was seriously a very tough job,I tell you. What more, it's my first time.
I could be caring less; lie on the couch, watch t.v and then go to sleep.
But, I stay all night and only go to sleep when it's already 5 in the morning, I dont feel sleepy at all because all I know is that she needed someone to stay and see what she needs when she she wakes up, not someone who will just look at her and zzzzzzzzz.
At least, I succeed in being 30% less selfish.

How about you?

p/s: having a pair of wings, a halo hanging on your head, dressed all in white is awesomeeeeee and cute, but it's not easy.