we R the red devils:touch us if U dare

we were out, but we did not stick to the usual..
tonite
no mamak but a malay restaurant
EPIC

they have sports channel running on tv
and thank god, the game is not over yet.

Man Utd has been through lots of ups and downs, and despite the downs I believe that MU fans will never be laid on the line.
and today they really made me feel proud as a fan.
It's been a long wait, but at last Man U has been rising again.


Though, he didn't contribute in scoring goals, watching Ji Sung played on field is like the era of David Beckham is back on track.
U know, those days when u stay up till late at nite to watch the games wif ur brother ignoring that tomorrow you have mid sem test.
Days when you learned to say 'go FUCK yourself' cuz the opponent's being cheapskate, making drama on field to get penalty at the very last minutes before games end (just like today)
Days when you dont care about consuming carbs and carbs late at nite cuz you just love evry bite of it while enjoying Mr. Beckham showed off his famous kick, the corner kick (correct me if im wrong).
Days when you booed the kids who said,
'the gunners rock(nickname for Arsenal)'
And Ling, remember those days when we got first, being strikers and running across the field like crazy trying to get the ball n try to score goals.... i miss those days..we were damn determined to win the match and all...

I figured those days I missed have been returned back to me today when

Manchester United 2 Norwich 0:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2044055/Manchester-United-2-Norwich-0-Anderson-Welbeck-United-top.html?ito=feeds-newsxml...

-lilwhitesheep7yearsback, xoxo-

GOOD GIRLS, GOOD BOYS;BAD GIRLS, BAD BOYS

I hate it

1. when you told her you love her but you love the other her too
2. when you say she's cute but the other her to you is beautiful
3. when you're with her but you were thinking about the other her
4. when you hug her and you smile but you smile remembering how the other her make you feel warmer
5. when you wished her after 12 noon on her birthday but u were the first person to wish the other her at 00:01 
6. when you say that you have date with your other boyfriends and you can't miss the game but instead you went out to Mid with the other her
7. when you were having your dinner with your girlfriend at Nando's but your eyes, its obvious that they were fixed on the girl across the room...
8. when i know you're having a girlfriend, its your third anniversary and you asked me for my number, telling my friend you like me,
9. hell, there's sooooo many things i hate about you
10. and guess what there's tons, well millions of my kind out there who have started to hate yours,
11. but its unfair to put the blame on you species cuz only your kind are jerks!

True, girls would commonly imagine their ideal type as someone who is
handsome,charming,smart,good at sports, tall, capable, strong, buff and (all the good qualities)
but at the end of the day, the only thing they care about and expect from the boys
is LOYALTY
which of course the boys had no idea about cuz they thought,
' i bought her with my good looks, and she loves it'
and they ended up  breaking the girls heart, turning the girls into one of them.

pernah terfikir x knape byk sgt perempuan cntik date or get married to lelaki yg cam biasa2 je?????

P/S : babe, be strong!
but babe;

' undang-undang tidak mengajar seseorang menjadi BODOH, menerima sahaja sesuatu, menganggap sesuatu itu takdir,'

8.am, criminal law class by Dr. Anita.

Basically, this is what I learnt in Criminal's class this morning. Satu provokasi itu boleh dijadikan satu dalihan tetapi hanya dalam kes bunuh.  Example given is someone presurring you for money. If you were one of those hot-tempered person, and the second party pressured you for money,you killed him; you can use provocation as a defence.  O.S.E and I exchanged glances when Dr. Anita mentioned this.Those guys shold be lucky we're not hot tempered. Just wonder if we are one.

But it's only useful for murder cases because if this kind of defence is acceptable in other criminal cases, the rate of rape cases would skyrocketed and predicted excuse;

'dia (mangsa) yang provoke saya, sape suruh dia dedah sana dedah sini??saya kan laki-laki, macamlah saya takde nafsu....'

Bare in mind people, a crime is always a crime, any kind of defense will only help reduce the punishment not protect you from being punished!

a lesson to learn : am i dumb,foolish or just simply stupid?????

a lesson to learn, a story to tell, a memory to remember, an experience to share.......

Let me ask you one thing, what can you get with MYR2O?
20 bucks for certain people could be a very little sum, 6.6% of their weekly allowance for their parents.
But for a person like me who did albeit at my mum's shop, other's mere 20 bucks are of big value; the commission awarded by mum for getting MYR200 sale which is equal to serving 8 customers with different attitudes, some were pleasant but some...you just wish they'd never come again!

 So, what can you get with 20 bucks??

• 2 weeks - worth topup
• 2 days petrol
• 2 days food expenses
• 200 sheets of photostated clj & mlj cases
• one semester supply of contact lens solution
• n more! 

And I can't believe i lost that precious 20 bucks for this

handmade lah konon!!!

My friend, O.S.E and I went to Midvalley this evening for a fresh dinner outside of UKM and already having a hard time getting out of the train when we reached Mid station as the crowd who were about to board the train pushed the frontliner in. We then managed to get a seat at Nando's and spent the rest of the time  shopping before 9. We were on our way to the Mid KTM to get back to UKM when two guys stop us.

O.S.E and I were like,
 ' sorry, we're rushing right now,
we seriously have no time
we've got a train to catch and many more excuses.'

But the guys especially the one in red were like
'awhile only a~
blahblahblah...survey......
awhile only'

and the one in red was like speaking very fast and we were laughing hard  to the way he spoke cuz we couldnt catch a single word he's talking and he IS funny in someway with the fat belly and all.
and next we realized we were taken to the sides and start filing out our names and all on the sheet of paper.

I realized there's this column written 'pcs' on it which stands for pieces before I figured that we have to buy something which only brought into mind the idea of paying or spending the penny I have in my wallet.

Wow! He asked me to pay rm30 to him man! I lied, telling him I only have rm20 in hand.
' cannot give me rm10 more meh,
20 ringgit for 4 points but rm30 for 10 points..
6 points more.. i need 25 points more'

WHATHEHELL????
u're asking for my money,i'm ready to give u 20 yet asking me for 30??????

'so what can i get for rm30 actually????'

he showed me a rubber pen.

HUH! WHAT????? this pen for rm30, ridiculous!

'handmade mah'

GO FFFFFFFFFF URSELF, MF!

I was reluctant at first but then hand him rm20; he's being seriously pushy. I dont know what got into me, its like I was hypnotised and they cast a spell on me and I gave my money away just like that.
Later do I realized how baboya I was giving him my rm20 for that pen , I asked him back for my money lying that we're taking taxi to UKM. Foolish, he'd definitely would never return the money , halina!

I seriously cant believe a 20-year old lawyer-to-be me can be so weak... I should have asked him...
Asked him whether their activity is legal or not? whether their company is operating under a valid liscence?
Tell him we're law student? we can report them blahblahblah...

WHY?WHY?WHY?

There's no use to cry over spilt milk. I'm already in UKM and may not be able to trace them back. But, I seriously cannot forget what happened tonight. I couldn't even take it that I give that 20 bucks away as charity. They just dont deserve that. All I can do is to warned YOU out there. Be wary people! Don't stop, dont turn back, just say, SORRY, IM NOT PAYING! Let them know you're not stupid and you know they're not doing survey but ready to persuade you to give them the money as an exchange to a pen you can get by the streets for rm4.50.

My whole life I'd remember this as a lesson reminding me how FOOLISH I can be!

i am abnormal, what about you?

im your cupid....

its been 5 months and 16 days since im gone and thanks to a 'doctor' im now back to life!

and throughout that period of time ive LOST:

1. my student's card and have to pay more than i should; train tickets,noraebang,movies,etc
2. my notebook which was stolen and hell there's tons of kpop songs, variety shows and movies+dramas i downloaded and received with much difficulty in it
3. some money stolen from mums shop under my care
4. latest updates from friends after my fb being deactivated
5. and friend's contacts after phone being reprogrammed and having trouble figuring out ige nuguya?

but compared to the things i lost, I GAIN more:

1. weight by 3 kilos (kekekekeke)
2. new friendshipS
3. money (helping at mums shop) :)
4. found my student's card hidden in the pocket of my luggage
5. new lappy
6. more and more i couldnt publicized them here
7. but best is TIME

          time for my family
          and time for me to finish:

• RUNNINGMAN
• CITY HUNTER
• SPY MYEONGWOL
• MY PRINCESS
• PRINCESS MAN :)

and there's this song from the ost of city hunter been playing in my head for months, i just cant stop it

CUPID-GIRL'S DAY

i'm your cupid
my boy i love you

jjaritaejin gibuningeol
ireon neukkim cheoeumingeol
mabeobe geollin geot gata
neol bol ttaemyeon

kongdakkongdak seolleneun mam
meoributeo balkkeutkkaji
niga neomu johajingeol
nado mollae

josimseureopge dagagallaeyo
oh i'm your sweety girl
nal anajwo
josimseureopge yaegihallaeyo
oh i'm your lovely girl
ni pume angin chae

hello hello you shiny boy
cupid u hwasari
nae maeume kok deureowa
neoreul bomyeon nan tteollyeowa

hello hello you shiny boy
dalkomhan useumi
nae maeume ssok deureowa
haru jongil nan tteollyeowa
you got my heart

my love my love my love my boy
my love my love my love my boy
my love my love my love my boy
my love my love

josimseureopge dagagallaeyo
oh i'm your sweety girl
nal anajwo
josimseureopge yaegihallaeyo
oh i'm your lovely girl
ni pume angin chae

hello hello you shiny boy
cupid u hwasari
nae maeume kok deureowa
neoreul bomyeon nan tteollyeowa

hello hello you shiny boy
dalkomhan useumi
nae maeume ssok deureowa
haru jongil nan tteollyeowa
you got my heart

oh shiny boy
cupid u hwasari
nae maeume kok deureowa
neoreul bomyeon nan tteollyeowa
you got my heart

my love my love my love my love
my love my love my love my boy
my love my love my love my love
my love my love my love my boy

 

TRANSLATION

I’m your cupid My boy I love you!
 

It’s an exciting feeling
For the first time I feel this way
As if I’m caught under a spell
When I see you.

My heart is beating vibrantly
From head to toe
I’ve fallen for you
Without realizing it

Carefully, I want to reach you
Oh! I’m your sweety girl
Hold me 

Carefully, I want to tell you
Oh! I’m your lovely girl
While in your embrace

Hello Hello you shiny boy!
Cupid’s arrow
Come into my heart
When I see you I become nervous

Hello Hello you shiny boy!
Your sweet laughter
Sneak into my heart
All day I’m nervous
You got my heart!

My love My love My love My boy x3
My heart beats loud,
leaning on your shoulder
Come on boy
You’re my boy Love my boy
My love My love (My boy)

Carefully, I want to reach you
Oh! I’m your sweety girl
Hold me
 

Carefully, I want to tell you
Oh! I’m your lovely girl
While in your embrace

Hello Hello you shiny boy!
Cupid’s arrow
Come into my heart
When I see you I become nervous

Hello Hello you shiny boy!
Your sweet laughter
Sneak into my heart
All day I’m nervous
 

You got my heart!

 Shiny boy!
Cupid’s arrow
Come into my heart
When I see you I become nervous
 

You got my heart!

My love My love My love My boy

WOW!

THEME of the DAY:
I gave you all I had and you tossed it in a trash, you tossed it in a trash.....
-Bruno Mars, Grenade-


Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not actually here to preach about a guy who gave his everything to a girl and was never appreciated, no,since when am I so holy.
For the past few months I've been sharing some memories and thoughts in Shuddup and Read and I guess now it's time for me to toss some part of my entries into the trash.
It's not an action to get rid of the evidence, I'm not planning to delete them entirely but now I'm healed.
I don't need a Baek Seung Jo, Bluberry Cake blahblahbla whatsoever and it's already been months that I'm over it. I'm totally free, free from a burden of liking someone, someone I myself am not sure of. Hehe.
And I dont think people will take it seriously when I wrote the letter, do they?
People
The one and only person that I forever love is Lee Min Ho
and Lee Gi Kwang
and  and Kim Soo Hyun
maybe not the one and only
.......

Speaking of the devil, life has been a living hell from the beginning of the semester.
Now that all the PBL (Programme-Based Learning) and presentations are over,

I'd to say,

it's been a while,
and I'M BACK
for Good...:)

kim joo won-ssi, dangshineun nega nugunji asibnikka?

Kim Joo Won-ssi, dangshineun nega nugunji asibnikka?

Me,
I am the person who use to crap about Baek Seung Jo vravravra.
But, that was the person I were last year and as I welcome 2011, I wanna stop searching for theperfect Baek Seung Jo and welcome Kim Joo Won :)

Now that I've become an ardent fan of Secret Garden, I'll be praying hard and hope that the God listens to my prayers and send me another version of Kim Joo Won.

Wish me luck, then.

an awesome day for the awesome loyar buruk

I know it would be an awesome day when I woke up late this morning(7.01a.m). Kelam kalibut kau! Brushedteeth,performedprayer,bathe,gotready,set and go,we're then off to KTM UKM.
Wednesday morning at ktm??Shouldn't we be attending classes in the morning of the middle of the week like Wednesday in particular?? But I tell you, today is particularly different because we have a special task to perform.Task that not everyone can experience and there's a lot to pay,seriously!

Our MLS a.k.a Malaysian Legal System's PBL a.k.a Problem Based Learning task is to visit to a court,let me remind you when I say pay a visit, they don't expect you to just visit and blah but again there's lot to pay,dude. We a.k.a the Loyar Buruk have picked the Session Court and frankly speaking there's nothing much to be brag on about Session Court if to be compared to the merrier High Court. But, there's a lot to brag about us and our experience.

We started the journey to Kompleks Mahkamah Jalan Duta at around 8.30 from KTM UKM and reached KTM Segambut half an hour later. Nothing extraordinary happened so far till we reached Segambut. Thanks a lot to the situation, we have to get down from the KTM to get a taxi cause KTM Segambut is not like KTM UKM where you can find tons of taxi waiting in line for customers near the KTM station but in Segambut you have to wait by the roadside and stop whichever taxi that pass by. And while waiting, we encountered a cute little dog who was abandoned by its owner.But eventually, how pitiful the dog could get is incomparable to my worriness, worrying its existence, worrying it circling us because I'm a Muslim and there's an obligation I need to oblige which is we can't get in contact with that creature and sorry Nisa you definitely have to 'samak' your pants cause that cute dog has been sniffing on it and three,two,one contact.

Okay, let's skip the boring part and fast forward to the moment in the Session Court. People,'people' used to say that if you want to find a husband, don't try a lawyer. I tell you, they ARE WRONG because you know why? We found that the creature in white suits and black coats who pull the black luggage-like case are mwah, extravaganza maammasita; something you should venture, in human beings language something you can say 'I Do' to. That's not just it, there's more. Remember during senior years, you saw this hotstuff kid at school and you just wished he's yours and you told your closest friend and they just smirk and said 'let's wait for the end of the day'??Remember?? Now, with a lawyer husband you can show him off to those who made the above statement before. Fin.

In the court, we found many kind of people, some smile and you thought they are sincere but later you found out that he's a criminal; some look tired and fed up because they know these people who deny to be at fault were the person who committed it, some looked happy because at last hahaha, they were released, some cried. Crying has always been related to sad because you cry when you are sad. It's a sad thing to to see those parents crying witnessing the court sentencing their son, their only son probably and it is true that people should always think about their loved ones and those who loved them before they do or plan to do something. But  I was wondering what if a person cried because he's pretending, pretending to gain sympathy??

ILOVESOFIAJANEBYBLACK

Not really a fan of local entertainment industry! Not saying that I'm not proud of the local music or films when I should be but I found them dull and static, static as in there's no immense flow that will happen in the local entertainment scene not even in 5 years to come.
Just look at how the Koreans can come out with brilliant concept of music with dance, groups rather than solo singer, and catchy musics and the props, the music videos, the fashion or theme of albums, the strategy of releasing mini album first,vravravra. That's beyond the Western's expectations I shall say. Just look at how these people can produced damn good songs and their music appear to be fresh and one of a kind. Even if the song is in English, it will still be recognize as Korean songs because people just knew it's the Korean music.
I'm not trying to be a bullshit who talks bad about her country's music and brag about others that did better but this is a fact that everyone knew, realised and nobody can avoid. It's a sad thing to know that even our neighboring country, ex. Indonesia is doing pretty well; Wali Band, an Indonesian male band is beingspreading love for their music all around the world. The European even made an English translation to their song, if I'm not mistaken. That's pretty good as a band from a Third World country. We supposed should be doing lot better, shouldn't we??

But, that was before, long before my mum and bro brainwashed me and exposed me to the local chapters and then I just realized that Malaysian's music is one fine art too. Trust me, the moment you listen to all the masterpieces of Audi Mok that he composed solely for Faizal Tahir, it just crossed your mind that, ermm, I have something to be proud of and like seriously you should listen to Sofia Jane by Black because I can't avoid admitting that that Sofia Jane is being played in my mind like for ages already.

And to show my support I didn't missed the AJL last night thought it rocked my spirit down when Ana Rafali was announced as winner. Not a fan but not hating, it's just that I gambled more on Faizal Tahir and Black because Black's vocal was superb when he sang Sofia Jane and the high note at the ending of the song, that's what we call MOF (marvelous,outstanding and fabulous).

So, previously on Melodi they were talking about how hard it is for Malaysian music to penetrate the Indonesian market. Very sensitive issue indeed.Talking about playing safe for the Indons and losing in a 'play fair' game for Malaysia. Hurm, and judging on how lenient Malaysia is to accept their every single song and help with the marketing when they refused to accept some of our songs, we can conclude that the Indons are quite selfish plus for them to say that the quality of their music is incomparable for us sounds pretty lame.They should learn the basic principles of give and take where you have to give something before you take something, and they can't even abide by these simple rule, then I'd say,

Malaysian, let's stop buying and listening to their music because we have ours!

Me as in Me

People of my race believe that you have to 'mandi bunga' to shoo away all the bad omens you might be possessing. And trust me, the last thing you want to hear in your life is ' baik ko pergi mandi bunga' because literally it shows that you're of no good and everything that revolves around you are just bad luck.

Have you watch Just My Luck where there's this hotstuff Chris Pine who always had bad luck and this Miss Lucky Lindsay? I have and I loved it how all the taxis stopped at her command. It's like, WOW! She's fantastic though apparently it's the other way round in real life.
To tell you the truth, how full heartedly I wish I was a Lindsay, but in reality, I'm the person my brother told to go mandi bunga and it's a bad bad thing.

I myself don't understand me. At least I thought I'm careful enough not to kick my mum's vase which I did. I'm the clumsy klutz you wish you'd never bump into.
And it sends my bro to his nerves end when everytime I was around, the t.v failed to function. It wasn't my fault at all but whenever I was at home, it'll always be raining outside in the evening and he couldn't go out and play.And I've been changing a total of 8 spectacles which I've stopped using when I was in Form 5 because my parents are tired to bring me back and forth to the optical shop to get me a new spectacles. All electronic gadgets in my hand such as cellphones, mp4 and pc or lappy will meet their end after more than 6 months being under my care.

And last Friday happened to be the end of my cellphone and I'm 100% sure that my brother is totally right. I need to go mandi bunga lah.

Beast Is the Best

I wonder how it's like to be part of a concert.
Is it merely like what we watch in the t.v or is it something frenzy,
at least I thought I'd feel alive and it's like being in a new fun world where you feel like jumping, heart leaps sky high and you just don't care what the others think about you. It's just you, the music and the performer.

You tell me coz eventually I've never been in one and I am serious.

There's always a first in everybody's life and the first concert I want to be part of hopefully is a concert of singers who deserve the penny I'm paying, singer I adore with superb performances. I don't wanna go back regretting spending money for ticket after the show.

It could possibly be Taylor Swift's, the girl who influenced me to get a guitar which I have been longing for long. But, maybe not, because if it's Taylor Swift's concert then there will be no jumping.
I would end up in Rihanna's if Chris Brown didn't cause a trouble. Thanks to Chris Brown, I'm still a concert 'virgin'.

I want
a concert that well, as Ive said earlier, I wouldn't regret paying later.
And I'm thinking of Beast. Besides 2PM and SHINee,Beast should be given credits. Just look at their albums. Always come up with a fresh one and their dance, superb, i tell you. Seeing how their Airline concerts went perfectly well in Korea, I totally wouldn't regret paying for that kind of performances. I bet my wish to do the jumping will be fulfilled if it's Beast.
And so, I skype with an old friend, a girl who helped me knowing Korean bizshow.
And we talked about the Digi Live KPOP Party 2011.
There are 4 minutes and G.NA performing and and there's OMG, Beast!

She's not going, and I'm not too.

I'm not lucky enough this time to be part of the concert but never mind, I hope there will be Beast sole concert in the future, and those who are going to watch the show, I envy you, and please send my hugs and kisses to Kikwang. All I'm able to do right now in order to erase this envious thing growing inside me is just watch them in Youtube :(

Being sought after doesn't make you someone better!

When we were 1,
we don't even know what are boys.

When we grew 6,
we know WHAT are boys. Boys: simply putting them in words (short hair, very naughty, always pull your hair,sweats alot and clothes smell like ughhh are boys) but trust me you don't bother much.

When we were in primary school,
our parents sent us to a non co-ed school (single sex school), and the only opposite male being we'd ever bump into is the Science teacher who grew mustache and probably has 3 kids and trust me again, it's UGLY.Even if you're in a co-ed school, you will only care about how am I going to beat this boy and be NO.1.

When we get to lower secondary school (which is Form 1 to 3): Starting of opposite sex attraction.
He's cute.
I think he looks at me.
Couple of days later, you found a letter under your desk and guess what? It's him, the guy who you think looked at you.
Next, you started exchanging letters and numbered them like in the Dear John. (From letter 1 to letter 53)
And sparks fly, but your feelings are still pure, and simple as the basic principle of love; you like him and he likes you, and that's already enough.

As you grew older, from 16 to an addition of 1, things changed: Development of opposite sex relationship.
He's hot.
I know he has this fling thing going on for me.
He walked towards you and you gave him your cellphone number.
Sparks could be flying but it's nothing simple.
You want every guys to do that. You want to be someone sought after by lots of guys.
You don't count the numbers of messages he texted you but you started counting who texted you.
And you feel happy, proud and complete satisfaction existed in your inner soul.

But, when you reached 18, 19 and maybe 20 like me this 2011.
Things were supposed to be different.
The way you look at all this lovey-dovey and relationship things.
The way you handle them.
Now, you're supposed to be maturer in observing every aspects of 'this' thing because you're no more in search of the hottest boyfriend to show off to your girlfriends but you're in the search of Mr. Right and the soul mate.
Despite how many guys texted you or called you, it doesn't matter, it is supposed to not be a big matter.
And you don't go bragging about them.
Because trust me, people at this age think maturely(if i'm not mistaken that's the word), they don't fancy you  bragging about how many boys called you. They don't even give a damn about it.
I don't.
Well, I'm not that maturer myself but I don't find you are super better when you did that instead I find you pathetic and it's sad to see that you are high school minded.

And
it's not good to smirk at her, and trying not to listen when she talks about the guy she likes, because I want to listen to her rather than listening to your craps because I find her story pure and well simply love.

And to the 'her', if the 'you' doesn't listen to you, come to me, I'll be here and we'll let her blow her own horn alone.

you and me always and forever

Dear You,

People call you (your name), but for me you're not just (your name), you're the Baek Seung Jo I've been waiting my whole life. It all started when I am on my duty delivering the Star, and you came for the call at the door. First time and its already enough to drown me in your charm.

The way you talk, the way you walk, the way you look at things, the way you carry your Deuter bag around, the way you smile and all your way that help me to smile back when I think of them in my own space. You barely talk to girls and that's what I loved the most about you. You're just not like dem other guys, because you're YOU.

To some it may be damn bizarre to have someone so obssessed about games, but I find it cute,very. And it's even cuter when you like anime, cartoons and Nine Days because I love The Story of a Girl. I guess you dont really go for Jigs, I love them especially the cheese one, but the cutest thing about you is that you'd prefer something local, you're into Super Ring and Bika. I might be wrong, you could be loving all sorts of junk food.
The littlest things about you had me falling into you even more.

You were born in the middle of September (**.09.91) and that makes you a Virgoan who is knwon as a person of perfection, a perfectionist. Firstly, I'm imperfect and I have many flaws.
I'm smart but I'm not a genius and I'm not in (*).
I'm cute (haha) but I'm not pretty.
I'm short and a little chubby but I don't have the body to die for.
I befriend a lot of people but I don't really go hanging out with all these people.
I'm a homey and I don't really go to parties what-so-ever and their likes (you may think I'm lammo with the big L letter on my head, go ahead).
I like buying online, those cheap korean dresses and I don't really buy the superexpensive labelled clothing.
And all my life I have real crush on three guys but only seriously like one person so,so much (by now u should know who).

I may not be able to defeat the spirit of Oh Ha Ni, who had crush on Seung Jo for total of 4 years, but try 3 years and you'll know how it feels to keep this feelings inside and not tell you how I feel about you, pretend theres nothing. You'll know how it's like to have you imprinted on me like my own version of tattoo, you'll know why I appreciate the value of determination. And no matter what you'll think of me if only you know how I feel about you, I will NEVER stop liking you, will always like you and still do!

Here,

Me.

the angel who sells fishes

It's every child's dream to be an angel in this world.

To be good to their parents, to pay their every kindness.
To help the poor and the needy.
To be a doctor to cure those in disease.

And I wanna be f*king rich so that I can supply even the poorest family all over Malaysia with a computer (back then lappy doesnt exist yet).

But the childhood dreams will all be left as a cluster of dust in an empty room.
No!
Your heart is like a dusty glass by the time you grow old.
All you care about is none other than your ownself.
And the major obstacles from the dreams of being angel is SELFISHNESS.

Well,your parents are still alive to see you make your own money, but instead of sharing your new double storey house (alarh,double storey je pun!blom bungalow lagi) with your paps and mams, you dump them in the old folks' home!

You saw tons of families who don't even have a single bread to eat while you're eating Gardenia in front of the t.v but instead you are selfish to share even 1 cent of your money because you're saving it for the latest autumn shoes from Aldo!

You knew the accident rate is skyrocketting each day, yet you're too selfish to donate your blood eventhough you know that someone out there might die just because you don't wanna give off your RBC. When you're successfully a doctor or nurse, you charge the people a lot and if you work with the government, your head will be up in the sky, you talk rudely and look at them as if they were scumbags.

Me, the one who once said,

Mama!Besar nanti I will have a lot of money and I will give some of them to the other kids in Africa. I will go to every house and give them some money so they can start their own business, then they will be rich like me.

I still remember but I dont believe my spirit of sharing stays the same way. I'm now greedier and yes, I sell more fish with every inch of growth my body experience.

A lesson on this matter is that you shouldn't put too much excitement in every dreams especially the good,good one because satan or the devil is always there to manipulate your thoughts. It is enough that you believe that you will do what you dreamt of doing and with the belief you had conquering your mind, you slowly proceed to the beginning step before you reach your ultimate dream and with total patience.

I'm no angel myself, but I guess I have started on the first step already.

Last week, a close aunt of mine had a miscarriage, the daughter she longed for a very long time (she only had 2 boys).So, I accompanied her in the hospital and it is an invaluable experience I have to say. Taking care of someone who lost half of the blood in the body;having not much energy, and she's not allowed to eat (required to fast), it was late at night; accompanying the sick person alone, in a hospital where you just can't shooed away thoughts like "what will come knocking on the door", plus,there's just two of us in the room, and hours before Pantai Putri had a blackout, that was seriously a very tough job,I tell you. What more, it's my first time.
I could be caring less; lie on the couch, watch t.v and then go to sleep.
But, I stay all night and only go to sleep when it's already 5 in the morning, I dont feel sleepy at all because all I know is that she needed someone to stay and see what she needs when she she wakes up, not someone who will just look at her and zzzzzzzzz.
At least, I succeed in being 30% less selfish.

How about you?

p/s: having a pair of wings, a halo hanging on your head, dressed all in white is awesomeeeeee and cute, but it's not easy.

clubbing : yes or no??

In my most remarkable masterpiece (it sounds funny though I actually want it to sound more artistic); the girl I am, I did mention something about having the intention to get into a club for once in my lifetime before I reach 25, remember?? Reminder: never been in one before!

When people say life is all about experimenting,my hands shoved high in the air at the speed of a Ferrari in total agreement with this simple yet influential statement, because life is something you need to experiment and I am a life scientist myself. It will only be, sounds and seems right when you have experienced something. The effect and gist of either a situation and life itself will be clearer and effectual in powering your mind and how you looked at it.

I have the closest example of a life scientist daddy which is my uncle. In order to teach his daughter about how dangerous it is to play near a drain, he warned her once,

Sweetie, don't go near there.

Short and ineffective because she's a kid and a kid in its nature loves experimenting. Of course, she refuse to listen and her instict tells her that she should play closer to the drain. You think her tiny winy legs can control her own walk and stability?
I will say no. And I'm right. She fell into the drain.

The daddy said,

It hurts right? You've learned your lesson, though. Jom, papa pergi cuci luka tu.

WOW!
Only a single word to explain what I think about the power of experimenting and of course the dad's creativeness to teach the daughter a lesson about life.

But, that statement about 'life is about experimenting' is partly suppose not to be true. As, there are certain things in your life you should never experiment.
You watch a lot of shows in TV and there's this Dear John you bought from Speedy. Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried, an ideal match.Then, there's this part where they kissed and it just seems so sweet and romantic and you suddenly felt like doing it with the one you loved. Here comes the role of experimenting. Then, it wouldn't be just a simple French kiss but it continues with what you call
SEX for example.
But dear, once you lose your flower of virginity than it's just a byebye. You can never turn back time or even pretend you still have it. A glass once broken, shattered into pieces will NEVER return to its original state anymore. You can't cellotape it because it will look ugly and then it just come across your mind that you should get a new prettier version one.
Then will you realize that experimenting in this case is of no use.

I have to admit that I still have this thought that going to a club at least for once will be fun. The music blasting in the air and my sense of experimenting tells me I should go and try to see the environment for once. Just, try to see how it is when I'm already inside.

But, thank god my logical and right senses tell me no, don't go! Things that keep me back from entering the club zone, things that hold me back from saying yes to club offer whatsoever all this time. And I am proud of it.
Some may think, yo, loser! Yo, chicken! Yo, angel konon!
Aku still ada mak aku lar.
But, I don't think that so. Without the club I can still enjoy music from thousand sources of music player eg. mymp4,mylappy,phone,tv,cdplayer,car,andmanymore.

Win, kita still rock kan dekat living room tu!

And, baby! Just say no to club. Call me, n I'll show you the best place to rock your body. Join our club dancing in the living room....hahax!

P/S I heard a club get raid the other day. Whoa, chicken!
Aku dok rumah jer. Kuar pun ngan mak aku je. Hangout pun ngan kawan baik n cousin tercinta,Win je. 
Doing stuff pun, online, music, ngn tgk tv je, tak pun karoke,shopping sikit2, wayang,bowling,bende2 yg boring je kan.
Aku bukannye baik sgt pun kan tp ak tak yah takut kene tangkap masuk penjara kan. Tak yah susahkan mak bapak aku kene byr RM10000 kan nk kuarkan aku dari penjara tu. Tak payah takut kan nanti kene serang nagn lesbo dlm penjara ke kan. Terima kasih aku ucapkan n padan muka! Sorry, sedikit terkasar tapi takpelah.

cross(*) ur heart and hope to die

It's 12:20
and I am still awake in front of this old grumpy lappy...

for a sole reason which is to have a glimpse of his name popping out in the online list..
and then 0 chance of putting a smile on my face..

not active FBooking as before anymore, because time after time I found them mundane, it is tiring.
to put it in a simple way, I guess this whole mundane thing is merely because he's not there in FB zone,thus, nothing to make me freak out like how I did when I saw his name in the list.

As pathetic as it seems, I'm going too far this time; including 10 minutes ago, it sums up to a total of 24 times I opened his profile and this is damn not healthy.

I hate myself for this because this is not who I used to be. I used to be the chill one and never in my life I'm into 'someone' like this.

Freak out!
Why should this happen when I'm 19 and damnit is this obsession??

Sorry, Win! 
Dulu aku selalu ckap ko ni obsess larh. Stop it! Find another guy! Live a life! vra,vra,vra

In the end the karma is always there; what goes around comes around!
Laugh ur ass out! I give u the privilege to do so...
I know I AM PATHETIC ryte now, and I hate it!

U guys are ryte, there will be a junction in the journey of our life where we will be encountering this sinister natural disaster, not tsunami or volcanic eruption, but a simple thing they call love and KH, u're damn right when u say everybody has their own love story..

I am egoistic, boastful and cold-hearted and now I am regretting the things that I say, because guys, I'm feeling the same obsessiveness you guys are feeling back then when u told me ur ls...
Sorry!

the day I swing my hips and giggle

I guess it's more than just factual to say that

M.U.S.I.C is my LIFE

because music IS my life;

and I believe that it is part of everyone's life too.

I wake up in the morning with Shinee's Hello that I set as alarm tone ringing by my side.
Go to the bathroom and the sound of water dispersing from the shower.
The sound of birds chirping on the tree branch outside my window.

Well that's music!

And there's music here, now (Pink-Raise Your Glass) and everywhere.

90% of your everyday life has the essence of music in it. And you still listen to lullaby before you get to sleep,ryte??
Do you??

Music in my version of definition is elusive.

Everything vis-a-vis music is like a magnet to me.

Be it

english,
korean,
chinese,
japanese,
and
malay musics too,


I will 
be pulled towards it; 
head, hands,legs all joined in a force we call goyang2.


Everything vis-a-vis music is like gravity.


singing
and
dancing

seems a great thing to do rather than spending half of the day FBooking.


Talking about dancing!

Remember just how great it was in high school, performing to sway, rockstar, pump it and we're all in this together.
Then, putting an effort to try the korean ballistic choreography; mirotic,sorry2,gee n vra,vra,vra.
Back then,salty smelly sweats is not something you'll bother at that instant.
Because the feeling is just like bliss, nirvana and euphoria all rolled into one.
Exactly how you will feel after completing every steps and manage to dance through the song till the very end.


I stopped,
yes
I stopped doing the dancing thing for a wee while (almost a year can be assumed as wee??).
Being busy supplying fats to my body. Foods became the new centre of attention; new crave.
Being busy doing other things.


Until lately, that I just thought of returning to the old routine!
I just wanted to feel alive again.


So, I decided to try the hello choreography.
It went well (that's what I thought),
till


Damn lil bro said;


Dahla mekna! mcm pink oink oink la (referring to CUTE lil PIG)


speechless!


I walked towards him

(I know, I know, I should slap him and kick his ass, uh)

But instead, I just

swing my hips and giggle..........

maturity level 50%

 

my letter to juliet

Dear Juliet,

How I wish I was as lucky as dem girls who get the chance to write on your wall.
But, Verona was like thousand of miles away and I don't think before 10 years to come I'll be able to reach you, Juliet.

Being able to write on your wall will enables me to experience a kind of feeling that release me from this burden I carry behind my back since 2007.

Well, you're the connoisseur when it comes to love.

Juliet, 
I have been having a crush towards this guy since I was just what people call little kid.
And the feeling was not buried nor it died. It just flares up defiantly as the time passes by. I wish I could stop it when there's no future in it I could sense at all, but,this forsaken emotion stops me from building up new emotions for a different guy.


As I deny and desert it as always, a good friend come to give a helping hand and a piece of advice that left me tangling now in my own little world wondering whether what i did was right. It had never been my style nor am I of the same opinion to it. But, like what this friend said, I wouldn't die for trying. It won't cost me anything right?


And yes, I am relieved. 
Not because the feedback was a total positive.
Not because it turned out ideal.
But, I was relieved for giving it a try.


There's no word for cheap and uncool when it comes to love because loving taught me to lower my head, be humble and learn to accept things in a thousand ways despite the outcome I may get.
And thanks to love, I now am very happy and satisfied because it is better late than never.


Btw, amanda seyfried:letters to juliet rox!

my BLOODY blood pressure

If I'm in Korea, I wouldn't have to burn my midnight oil and study hard for the exams, because apparently I will be accepted to local Universities just for being a very concern citizen who loved the idea of donating blood.

U can't just love, as mere loving wouldn't get you anywhere.
U have to DO it, accomplish it, and COMPLETE it.

Donating blood is not that easy.
I warned you. There's a couple of stages you have to go through, experience and 'endure'.

Well, in my case things started out during the year of Matriculation and technically I have three types of R.M.

The first is a skinny one who has this warm personality; annoying will never crossed your mind.

The second one is a short and not that skinny type but with good big butts and boobs.

Both of them and including me practiced what we call:
LOVING JUST THE WAY WE ARE

But, the third one is obviously something different.
Skinny and flat.(I AM SO SORRY BUT THIS IS VERITY)
And, the most irritating thing about *tutt* is that *tutt* enjoyed telling people to slim down and damn proud of *tutt* not-to-be-proud-of figure and the fact that *tutt* weighed 40 kg.
Man, that's not healthy, that's anorex darling.

But seriously, *tutt* succeed in making me and the second RM to be conscious about our shape.
Tearing down the wall of my confidence plus the fact that I ate a LOT.
*tutt* just fits well in skinny jeans and I envy *tutt* for that.

And the purpose I went to donate my blood for the first time is to check how much I weigh.
Eventually,
If you're not 45kg and above, just say bubye to blood donation.

OMG! I passed, because I DO weigh a lot.

I've been donating my blood twice and the last one was on Nov 2009.
It then becomes an addiction.

Lately, precise: 6th Oct, the adrenaline rush got me on the first Zone 2 bus and around 5 minutes later I found myself infront of KUO.
Dragging my feet impatiently to the foyer which is the site for blood donation.

As I've mentioned earlier, there were a couple of stages you have to go through before the red blood cells make their entry out of the veins.

First stage:

Yes or No.

Anwered yes or no to every questions such as when's the last time you have sex??
6 months??

I guess its a yes because I had SEX in the City the other day.

Second stage:

1. What blood type are you?
2. How much you weigh?

O, I'm soooo proud to be an O, because they'll be nice to me; they need my O, DUH!

But, the second one could have been a sensitive issue yet it wasn't that sensitive to me.

I'm 53!

Like I expected, the crew didn't have the slightest belief to this fact.
How can a skinny,small,petite and CUTE girl like me could weigh soooo much?
They wonder.
They just wanted me to weigh again.
Nevermind.


Third stage:

Blood pressure!

The doctor who was assigned to check my blood pressure is a kind one and of great elegance.

Adik dah makan?


That was the first thing she asked me.

So, she continued checking; and first round my blood pressure was 95.
First round?? Is there another??
Oh,yes! Basically, 95 is normal for me taking into account that my body really is small but it wasn't enough for me to donate my blood as the minimum is set at 110.
Seeing that I'm damn eager and keen to donate my O, she advised me to get some soy drinks and get back after 15 minutes.

And, so, after that I was already in the line waiting for my turn for the next blood pressure check-up.

But, thanks to my bloody blood pressure, I went back home having no chance to proceed the last stage because the second round blood pressure was at 97!